Weeping With Those Who Weep

So, this was quite a day. I woke up extremely tired and sluggish. I managed to get myself to French, and enjoyed it, but I was unable to concentrate. I was originally going to go to the library after class, but I didn't feel up to it. So I went back to the dorm and sat around. I decided to pick up Good News About Injustice and read the first 10 or so pages. Then I was struck with a brilliant idea. I remembered that my roommate had done an Amnesty International protest about the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda, and I remembered that someone had told me that the library has a lot of DVDs. I searched for Invisible Children on the library's site, and sure enough they had it. So I packed up and headed to the library.

It turned out that there's not much privacy when you check something out in the A/V room. There are a few rows of TVs with DVD players, and you just sit at one, plug in some headphones, and watch. So I checked out Invisible Children, headed for a TV, and started the adventure.

I was able to maintain my composure throughout most of the movie. I was moved, shocked, alarmed, incensed, and every other emotion one feels during the movie, but I was nevertheless composed. I could see the reflection of my face in the screen, and it was like a record of my emotion, a constant check to see if I was still alive and breathing in the midst of such horror.

But one scene broke the dam. It is the only scene where a child cries in the entire movie (these children learn quickly that crying can mean certain death). When this boy cried for his dead brother, the torrent of emotion that he had stored up in his short life was released, and with it came the emotion that I had stored up during the film. This crying was too deep, too wise for a 9 yr. old. This was the mourning of a soul who had witnessed more atrocities than you or I can imagine. These were the tears of a boy who had too quickly become a man in the midst of oppression. And with him I broke down at the injustice of this cruelty.

So there I sat, in the middle of the second floor of the Hesburgh library, with two people just across the aisle, sobbing. I quickly tried to temporarily regain my composure for just long enough to finish and return the movie. Than I ran down the stairs, out the door, and into the grass. I sat against a tree and wept for those children. It was like being born again into a world that I so quickly forget in my American lifestyle.

I always must thank God for these gifts of compassion that crop up sometimes. My heart is so hard and cold more often than I would like to admit.

Then I called Gerald to tell him all of this. It was a good conversation.

This summer has caused me to appreciate my friends more than I have thus far in my life. The lack of deep Christian fellowship I have up here leaves me thirsty, and I realize how satisfying spending time in conversation with my brothers and sisters really is.

After I hung up with Gerald, I went back to the library and did some reading and French. By the end of the day, I had gotten through almost 110 pages of Good News About Injustice. It is affirming and systematizing so many things I have thought or felt or witnessed in the past academic year. Water in the desert.

The other thing I like about Haugen's book is that when we look at corruption, child prostitution, child labor, or any other human rights violation, we're forced to look into God's justice and compassion. This is so helpful when trying to wrestle with whether God is for you, whether He really cares about the suffering that we experience.

So it was quite a day. Then I was on my way back from the library tonight (around 9:45), I saw fireflies for the first time in my life. They are quite interesting creatures, and yet another example of God's genius.

Ideas for the next year:
• Casablanca House Party for Invisible Children. Four condos playing Invisible Children in one evening; massive amounts of people, and hopefully baked goods. Brainstorming on how to get involved.
• Trying to convince some people to start a chapter of International Justice Mission at UF. It would be a great way to connect people from so many fields - from the College of Journalism to the Levin College of Law.
• Taking place in the Loose Change to Loosen Chains IJM campaign.
• Launching Christian Service Network.

Peace, friends.

Sam
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Come on, who DOESN'T think Emily rocks?

Quote of the day: "These homosexuals haven't been to church in years because they feel like Christians despise them. And do you know why? Because Christians despise them." - Tony Campolo

Sad, but true, Mr. Campolo. What are we going to do about it?

So, today the Emrod came to visit. It was so much fun. The day consisted of:

• Eating at Greenfields Cafe, one of the nicer places to eat on campus.
• Giving her the ignorant, visiting student tour of Notre Dame (my roommate would be disappointed in me).
• Showing her the dorm.
• Going downtown.
• Getting some delicious espresso beverages at Chocolate Café.
• Wandering aimlessly looking for dinner.
• Going on an adventure to find a pizza place called Rocco's.

It was a smashing good time. I can't even explain it. Who is Emily Roderick?

Hopefully it won't be the last time she comes to visit.

So, masantos pretty much just changed my life (what else is new?). I was responding to an email she wrote when I decided to look up a book she told me she was reading. It's called Good News About Injustice. Here's what transpired at approximately 10:45 tonight:

• Look at table of contents on Amazon.
• Notice the copyright (International Justice Mission).
• Look up on ND Libraries web site.
• Write down call number.
• Get up.
• Walk to library.
• Elevate to 12th floor.
• Pull out book.
• Realize I've found the "Christianity and Social Issues" section.
• Figuratively explode.
• Check out book.
• Go back to dorm.

I'm really excited. The book just rose to the top of my list, right up there with "Poverty in America: A Handbook" and "Ministries of Mercy."

I also overslept today and did zero French.

Next adventure: Chicago to see Katie.

Peace,
Sam
P.S. My friend Bob sent me a list of recommended books regarding poverty and such. I will post it soon for those interested.
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X-Men, Poverty, Etc.

Quote of the day: "Senator John Edwards declares war on poverty. Moments later, poverty declares victory." - The Colbert Report

First of all, I want to point out that my posts really aren't nearly as long as you all think. For some reason the columns on these blogs are ridiculously narrow. In actuality, they are probably about two pages.

Practical updates: To those of you hoping/praying/thinking happy thoughts about my financial, administration(al), and social situations up here at ND, thanks. The past few days have been really great. I went to a really great church and met some great people who have been really helpful. They took me to the grocery store, had me over for lunch, and even got someone to loan me a bike.

Also, the financial stuff is just about worked out - mostly.

I also had lunch today with a professor of the theology department, which was really great. We talked a lot about the project and directions I might be able to go with it. Generally: looking at the response of the North African Church over a few centuries to social problems, specifically as opposed to the government and in comparison or contrast to the Eastern Churches. A recent book in this vein has been published regarding the Cappadocian fathers from the East (good old Basil of Caesarea, Gregory of Nazianzus, and Gregory of Nyssa). It's called The Hungry Are Dying, and it focuses specifically on poverty and sermons about the poor. I'm getting it from the library tomorrow.

Specifically: looking more at Carthage and Cyprian and how the Roman institutions dealt with sickness, poverty, etc. In my reading today I learned that due to the grim nature of Punic (Carthaginian) religion, which was pretty much akin to OT craziness (human sacrifice, worship of Baal-Hammon, etc., extremely ritualistic), Christianity was often viewed as freedom from fear and legalism.

Also, here's a quote-to-ponder-of-the-day: "If it was fated that the Roman character should change when Carthage fell, would that Carthage was still standing." - Silius Italicus on the Roman sacking of Carthage, which became gruesome to the point of human sacrifice. Apparently Scipio himself wept when he conquered Carthage.

Now I want you to think about that quote, and about America, and about humanity in general while you read the rest of this post. Then get back to me with your comments.

I'm also reading a book called Not the Way It's Supposed to Be, which is about the doctrine of sin. Very fascinating thus far; I'll keep you all posted.

So tonight we (i.e. me, the roommate JB, and the roommate's friend Pat) watched the infamous X-Men (it's not worth posting a link). I've seen the third one, and I've heard that the second one is actually a pretty good movie. But I had to watch the first for the sake of watching it. It wasn't very good, I admit. The best part of the movie was when the X-Men were fighting in the Statue of Liberty and JB said, "Way to f*** up a national monument, idiots." And then the best part of the night was watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The Daily Show spent a while mocking the whole ridiculously predictable Sears Tower scare. They juxtaposed CNN's crazy coverage with the later press conference which basically equated to: "Well, no, they didn't exactly *have* any weapons or *craft* a plan, but, uh, we, uh...Next question..." Fear-mongering makes me angry.

However, I'm always interested in the social agenda behind comic books. I did a little bit of reading up on Wonder Woman a few weeks ago, and I almost posted it, but I decided no one would care. For those interested, though, check out Wikipedia's article on Wonder Woman and learn about how it was created by a feminist. If any of you are working on politics and cartoons and such (cough, Molly, cough), you might want to think about throwing comic books into the mix.

I did learn this fascinating tidbit about X-Men from Wikipedia:

"Ironically, the cast of this comic book series, which would in decades hence become a vehicle for stories about prejudice and racism, was originally racially and ethnically homogeneous, seemingly comprised entirely of the WASP-type character that was the de facto model for most comic book heroes at that time. Furthermore, their arch nemesis was Magneto, a character later portrayed as a Jewish concentration camp survivor, whose key followers, son and daughter, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch were Gypsies (Roma), an ethnic minority in Europe."

So apparently it wasn't until the 70s that X-Men became a civil rights symbol. I noticed when I watched Spiderman 2 again recently how comic book supervillains are often based on the premise that humans are basically good and then turn evil by some sort of unnatural accident or traumatic experience (or at least the major supervillains).

I think that's all. Emily comes to visit on Wednesday which is flipping awesome.

Keep me posted.

Peace,
Sam
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Fear, Poverty, and Other Things

This is going to be long, but it's important. Please read it. And then call/comment/email.

So I just finished watching Bowling for Columbine per the suggestions of Jeremy G. in high school and Devon in the spring. It was excellent. Sure, there are some of the usual Michael Moore shenanigans, but really once you figure out Michael Moore's ways, you can get to the bottom of his and most other documentaries to figure out what's going on. For example:

• Michael Moore makes sure the editing of every scene plays off of emotions. Always be aware of what audio is playing under each video scene. He does everything for a reason.
• He chooses his words extremely carefully and is nitpicky about other people's words. There was a lot of this in Farenheit to the point that it was a bit nauseating.
• He also chooses his footage carefully. Documentaries have this microchasm effect where if it mentions a person or news station and shows footage of him/her/it, the audience immediately generalizes that footage to represent him/her/it in its entirety.

So that's your film lesson of the day if any of you are interested. Keep that in mind with just about every documentary. All documentaries have an agenda. The goal of the historical method is to account for that agenda.

All that being said, Moore makes several valid points. America is a country gripped by fear and driven to consumption. Oddly enough, Marilyn Manson has some of the most insightful words in the movie. I actually had the first and only moment of respect for him. When asked by Michael Moore what he would say to the kids of Columbine, he said, "I wouldn't say anything to them. I'd listen to what they had to say, because I don't think anyone has done that."

The media thrives on fear, the government thrives on fear, and corporations thrive on fear. Don't believe me? Let's sample some headlines right now:

FoxNews.com:
• Seven 'homegrown terrorists' indicted in plot to blow up Sears Tower, other buildings. Terrorism expert Ann Hayes has the latest
• Former Army Sec. Togo West on North Korea's long-range missile threat
• Children at Risk

CNN.com:
• STALKER UNDER BED: Voyeur tapes hours of video in a woman's bedroom
• Toddler shoots girl in mouth
• Suspect faces another murder charge
• Sheriff: Teen killed by falling tree
• Driver finds body under car

The most ridiculous are the local channels:
WFTV Orlando:
• Man Beaten With Hammer By Suspects
• Body Found Behind Shed; Three Dead
• Teen Allegedly Dressed As Woman To Snatch Purse
• SUV Falls 20 Feet From Road, Kills Driver
• Surveillance Video Shows Five Women Rob Old Navy Store

For goodness sake, it's no wonder we're so afraid. The news is telling us that no matter where we go or who we are, we're going to be robbed, shot, or killed by bees. This just keeps us paralyzed. And that's not even counting all of this "War on Terror" stuff. Consider these facts from here:

• The U.S. military budget request by the Bush Administration for Fiscal Year 2007 is $462.7 billion.
• The US military spending was almost 7 times larger than the Chinese budget, the second largest spender.
• The US military budget was almost 29 times as large as the combined spending of the six “rogue” states (Cuba, Iran, Libya, North Korea, Sudan and Syria) who spent $14.65 billion.
• It was more than the combined spending of the next 14 nations.
• The United States and its close allies accounted for some two thirds to three-quarters of all military spending, depending on who you count as close allies (typically NATO countries, Australia, Canada, Israel, Japan and South Korea)
• The six potential “enemies,” Russia, and China together spent $139 billion, 30% of the U.S. military budget.

So why does all this matter? Why am I upset with how gripped by fear and obsessed with security we are in America? The answer is poverty. Consider some facts from here:

• Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.
• The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of the poorest 48 nations (i.e. a quarter of the world’s countries) is less than the wealth of the world’s three richest people combined.
• Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.
• Less than one per cent of what the world spent every year on weapons was needed to put every child into school by the year 2000 and yet it didn't happen.
• 51 percent of the world’s 100 hundred wealthiest bodies are corporations.
• The wealthiest nation on Earth has the widest gap between rich and poor of any industrialized nation.
• 20% of the population in the developed nations, consume 86% of the world’s goods.
• The top fifth of the world’s people in the richest countries enjoy 82% of the expanding export trade and 68% of foreign direct investment — the bottom fifth, barely more than 1%.
• In 1960, the 20% of the world’s people in the richest countries had 30 times the income of the poorest 20% — in 1997, 74 times as much.

These are global statistics, not specifically American stastics, but America is the wealthiest country in the world. So here are my points in all of this:

• How can we tackle poverty when we're so dependent on security that we spend way more money on the military than on alleviating poverty?
• More importantly, think about your perception of the poorest places in whatever city you're in. You probably also associate them with crime. And you may or may not be right. Moore asserts that more crime happens in the suburbs, and I'm not sure whether he's right. But do you see the problem? How can you ever help the poor if you're afraid to stay with them? How can you ever make a difference if you're worried about safety?

Objections:
• Sam, the poor will always be with us. Jesus even said so. Quit your whining and give me my gun.
My response: Yes, the poor will always be with us. But that doesn't mean that widespread poverty, massive homicide rates, and ridiculous military spending will always be part of America. Will we ever eradicate poverty in this world? Absolutely not. Can we alleviate it? Absolutely.

• Look at you, Mr. Notre Dame. You're sitting pretty in your dorm room as a middle class white guy. Your biggest worry right now is where to eat on campus. Aren't you some sort of hypocrite?
My response: I'm often pained with how easy my life is physically. My freshman year of college I was particularly disgusted with college life, with how easy we had it. I believe that we as college students should take advantage of the fact that we have time and money and devote ourselves to helping the poor in whatever way we can.

Yes, I said we have time and money. You may balk. You may say, "Sam, unlike you, I am completely self-sufficient and work to eat." And you would probably also say, "I'm so busy with exams and class that I don't have time to help the poor or whatever else you want me to do." The problem with these two statements is one of scope. Yes, you probably do work to eat. But you're not at the poverty level. If you were to lose your job, you wouldn't become homeless for the simple reason that your family and friends would take you in. Combine that with the fact that you're more than likely not making $8.50/hr while having to feed a family and I'd say you're pretty well off. Combine all of that with the fact that the poor give to the church more than any other group of Americans. And as far as time goes, why not channel some of your Facebook/drinking/partying/chilling/video game/laying out time to helping someone or at least reading up on an issue?

So that's my soapbox for the evening. Let me know what you think. And check out these two things:
• The movie The Corporation
• Wikipedia: Poverty in the U.S.

Peace,
Sam
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Addendum

Stop whatever you're doing and watch this, this, and this.

Kings of Convenience and Feist. Wonderful. There are also some wonderful Elliott Smith videos on YouTube. I'll link to some of my favorites another time.

I already posted something this morning (just scroll down a bit), but it was a fairly interesting day. I picked up the following books in the library:

Othello
Henry V
The Brothers Karamazov
Flannery O'Connor's "The Artificial Nigger and Other Stories"

I figured I needed some fiction to keep me company these days. I also went on a hunt for Life at the Bottom, as recommended by Gerald. I thought I found it, but then I realized this evening that the ND library has a completely different book with the same name. Bummer.

Finding books at the library is like a treasure hunt. You go online, write down the call number, look at the list of floors to find out where to go (there are thirteen), and then hunt down the book. Sometimes you get it wrong, and you end up in the Russian literature section - proper - and wonder why you have suddenly encountered the Cyrilic alphabet and can't find Dostoyevsky (all the while realizing the irony that his work in its original form is right in front of you) . Other times you discover little gems you didn't know existed, like that French book on Cyprian I found.

It's so much fun. Seriously. Okay, I'm a nerd. Whatever. All I know is that when I pulled The Brothers K off the shelf and sat down to start reading it, I felt at home. The 4th and 9th floors - where I got these works - would, I think, cause Charlie and other likeminded souls to become hermits for the rest of their lives. It's set up so that the works of each author are followed by literary criticism. It's gorgeous. I had no idea there were so many sweet books about Flannery O'Connor.

You'll realize none of this has anything to do with my research or my French. I pretty much took the day off. After all, there's always Saturday.

Also, for those keeping track: so far none of the graffiti I've encountered since that day on the 12th floor has matched the overall wit and "charm" of the other day's "artwork."

And Emily is coming on Thursday. Rock on.

This should be an interesting weekend. My roommate is visiting his girlfriend in Chicago, and apparently there is a possibility that one of his friends is sleeping in this room tomorrow night. Right...

I feel like I had more interesting things to say. Oh well. It's been fun hearing from many of you over the past week. Keep it up; I love knowing what's happening.

Hopefully I'll have more insightful things to say once I've really delved into my research and these books.

Peace,
Sam
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"There was a fire fight!"

Last night I watched "Boondock Saints" with my roommate and his friend, followed by The Colbert Report. It was a good time - fightin' Irish with the Fightin' Irish.

The Colbert Report had a ridiculous story about a statement made by Stephen Hawking about the end of the world and a Wall Street Journal guy disagreeing with him. It was so funny. It included such gems as "Now, you all know that Stephen Hawking is my LEAST favorite theoretical physicist." Priceless.

My current musical best friends:
Elliott Smith - Figure 8
Leslie Feist - Let It Die
Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies
Kings of Convenience - Riot on an Empty Street

I don't really have anything profound to say these days. I'm just wandering around Notre Dame and learning French and reading all kinds of stuff. I'm slowly getting better at reading French, which is exciting. I don't know where I'm going with this research, though. Research is one of those things that just sort of happens and you end up figuring it out as you go.

I'm really excited about this one book in French about Cyprian that I found. In English, the title is "Cyprian of Carthage: Bishop of Carthage, 'Pope' of Africa." I'm excited because the first part addresses some doctrine of Cyprian that is quite reminiscent of Augustine's ideas of the city of God and the city of humans. Exciting. I can't wait to read it.

To my readers: please refrain from posting anonymous complaints. Anonymity is a trump card that prevents real discussion. If you have something you'd like to talk about, post your name or call me.

Here's to freedom from censorship and the freedom to disagree.

Peace,
Sam
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OH SNAP

Check this out:

Pitchfork Music Festival

Some of the people playing: Destroyer, Matmos, Spoon, The Mountain Goats, Yo La Tengo.

There is no way I am missing this...I'm only 2 hours from Chicago. I will do whatever it takes to see Destroyer.

Anything.

Snap.

More from me later.

Sam
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"You'll shine like gold in the air of summer."

If you haven't been introduced to the beauty of the Kings of Convenience, you need to check them out immediately.

The other night I walked to over to the grotto. I have yet to take my own picture of it at night, but this is the one from the ND site:



It's a beautiful place. I have also attended mass at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart. I can't bring myself to take pictures inside, but you can see it on ND's site:



Class is really cool so far. I'm really excited about learning French. I have also begun to explore the library, which is enormous. The worst part of this adventure thus far is that last night I learned the hard way that during the summer NOTHING is open for food after 8 pm on campus. Nothing. Not even a mart of the kwikki persuasion. I ate the most expensive pizza of all time last night because of my ignorance. Bah.

I wrote down some graffiti I found on a desk. This part of the post is dedicated to Charlie. Here are some of my favorites:

- "I want to kick T.S. Eliot square in the balls."
- "Note to self: Stop looking at the graffiti (poetry) and get your work done."
- "Do I love her?"
[Different handwriting.] "She has no soul."
- "Theology is gay."
- "Mike - don't let me go yet. I'm waiting for you..."
- "SOMEBODY SAVE ME"
- "Fuck the zombies."
- "Crazy Bob sits directly across from me and I wonder if he'll sprint out."
- "Yes it means I'm free."

I have posted a ton of new pictures from my second day at Notre Dame. You can find them here.

More from me soon on a deeper level with less practical and photographic updates.

Peace,
Sam
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Notre Dame = Gorgeous.

So, my computer froze the first time I tried to do this (I swear it wasn't my PowerBook's fault).

Anyway, I'm writing from Siegfried Hall. That's here:



Tomorrow I will be going to class here:



And researching here:



You can see all of these pictures here.

The flight and everything was painless and I have funny stories. My roommate is a cool guy. I am really, really tired though. I need to go to bed. I'll post more tomorrow I'm sure.

Good night!

Sam
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"Shadows kept alive..."

Billy Corgan wrote a song when his mother died that I find extremely moving. I just think he pinpoints grief so well. Here are the lyrics:

whenever I run
whenever I run to you lost one
it's never done
just hanging on

the past has let me be
returning as if dream
shattered as belief

if you have to go don't say goodbye
if you have to go don't you cry
if you have to go I will get by
someday I'll follow you and see you on the other side

but for the grace of love
I'd will the meaning of
heaven from above

your picture out of time
left aching in my mind
shadows kept alive

if you have to go don't say goodbye
if you have to go don't you cry
if you have to go I will get by
I will follow you and see you on the other side

but for the grace of love
I'd will the meaning of
heaven from above

long horses we are born
creatures more than torn
mourning our way home

I especially like that last stanza. It often feels like all we're doing is "mourning our way home" in this life.

I've recently come to the conclusion that once you wrestle with the issue of God's sovereignty, you must be prepared to wrestle on a profound level with God's goodness. If God is the primary or secondary cause, the passive or active agent (however your particular spin on God's sovereignty would put it) of the pain in my life, how can I accept His goodness?

And that's where the risk comes in. God will not prove Himself to you by anything other than His Word and His Spirit. You can't demand an explanation from Him. You have to take the plunge and discover whether you do in fact believe that He is good in addition to being sovereign.

God knows I'm waiting at the edge of the pool more often than I'd like to admit.

I leave for ND on Monday morning. Keep in touch, everyone.

Peace,
Sam
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"There's no blood on my hands, I just do as I am told."

(title from Wilco's Spiders)

The past week or so has been quite an experience. I have been doing a lot of soul-searching, having some really good conversations with my friends, family members, and pastor, and learning a lot about myself.

I am thinking about who I think I am, who I really am, how I got to be this way, and who I want to be. That covers a pretty hefty amount of territory, but it has been very helpful, very healing.

It's a time of reflection on manhood, fearlessness, courage, compassion, and wisdom, and how all those things relate to me or should relate to me. I'm piecing together my history as a human being through delving into my relationships with my family and figuring out what they really mean and how each of them have affected me - for good or for ill (something I don't know if I've ever really done).

I'm thinking a lot about fear. Fear of relationships, fear of vulnerability. Where does it come from? The fall of man, I believe. Apparently there's a book called The Silence of Adam by Larry Crabb that's supposed to be about this stuff and is supposed to be good. Anyone ever read it? I will check it out soon.

There is something deep inside of me - and I think all men - that calls me to be a William Wallace and tells me that I - and I think every Christian man - am called to courage and wisdom and compassion. Not only that, but this voice (none other than the Holy Spirit) whispers to me that I am such a man through the grace of God and the blood of Christ (for this man cannot ever really exist without regeneration).

We are called to "fight in the darkness" as Crabb puts it (so I hear). We are called to take risks. And I don't just mean risks like jumping out of airplanes for fun (which is still cool). I mean hard risks - risks with relationships (all together now - *shudder*).

This means not being afraid to face the garbage that is sin that we so often call prettier names, like "my personality" or "my past" (how often have I used those phrases to hide my manipulation, my passivity, or my fear!). Guess what? Your relationships and my relationships of any kind are all screwy. There's one thing I've learned when it comes to other human beings: if it's easy it isn't real, and if it's real it isn't easy. C.S. Lewis taught me, though, that it is far better to have a more accurate image of another human being than a more comfortable one.

And that's what manhood is all about. More accurately, that's one of the many things Christianity is about. It's about being able to face the most painful sin of all - the pain of relationships in a fallen world - and realize that neither of you (whether friends or lovers) have anything to offer each other except brokenness, except the continual need to face the Cross, except the hand-held in the grip of betrayal or heartbreak, except the tears that come from redemption.

Good night, my friends.

Sam
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Tall ships made of snow invading the sun.

That's a Destroyer lyric.

I'm back from surgery and such. Still a little swollen and bruised, but I'm fine. There was no drug-induced coma, unfortunately. The pain-killers were really not that strong, and they only used conscious sedation for the surgery. That was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life.

I did learn a valuable lesson: valium is not my friend. I had to take one before the surgery and I really didn't enjoy it. I don't really understand why people use it as a recreational drug.

So I don't have anything very profound for you. I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, and maybe I will post some of those thoughts soon. At the moment I am going nuts trying to get ready to leave on the 19th. Lots of things to do and people to see.

I did, however, listen to Piper's biography of William Wilberforce the other day. It was excellent and inspiring. I leave you with this quote:

"No man has a right to be idle...Where is it that in such a world as this, [that] health, and leisure, and affluence may not find some ignorance to instruct, some wrong to redress, some want to supply, some misery to alleviate?" - William Wilberforce

I think I need to read his book: A Practical View of Christianity.

Peace,
Sam
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The Revolution (The Most Important Post Thus Far)

In light of tomorrow's surgery laying me up for a few days, I thought I'd go ahead and make a post about the project some friends and I are working on. Please chew on it and give me your thoughts. This is going to be really long, but I don't want to split it into two posts. However, if you read nothing else I write this summer, read this post. This subject is pretty central to my life now.

Okay, background...

Social Entrepreneurship left me feeling several things regarding Christians and service (service = social issues like fair trade, missions, mercy ministry, etc. in this context):

1. At UF/in gainesville, non-Christians are much more well-known for being supportive of social causes and actually getting things done. Examples: the huge Greek system's philanthropy, FAB, FACE, Students Making Trade Fair (which made some significant progress this year), etc. etc. It's very rare to hear anyone say, "Oh, RUF? Yeah didn't they hold that big event for the homeless?" Homeless Council (on friday nights) is actually getting some press these days, but that's almost it.
2. Christians have no idea what each other are doing in terms of service. Examples: What on earth does Crusade do for service? What about GCL? What about even my friends?

I think two factors contribute to the general unawareness described in the first two parts:

A. Hopefully Jesus' command to do good in secret.
B. Christians really aren't doing that much at UF.

Next part of background: people.

At UF I generally find three groups of Christians:

1. A small group of Christians who don't give a rip about helping others in any way (whose Christianity is debatable).
2. A medium sized group of Christians who are doing a lot but not many people know them. They are quite well known outside of the Christian community...they are the group of experts who are the bridge between the non-Christian and Christian service communities.
3. A large group of Christians who are dying to do something but have no idea how to get involved or what it means for a Christian to be involved.

So we've got the problems and the people. Now the proposed solution.

Generally speaking, Christians need to be better equipped to do service both personally and in community -- Christian and non-Christian community (equipped = information about social issues, contacts (the most important probably), ideas, opportunities, etc). Equipped also includes theology to support service, mercy ministry, etc.

Aside from certain elements of theology, I feel that networking is the single most important way to equip Christians. I learned this semester that if i need information about Women's Issues, I should talk to two girls I met in SE. If I am interested in Fair Trade, I need to talk to people from Students Making Trade Fair. Somehow, we need to get all three groups of Christians talking to each other and helping each other. The second group is composed mainly of experts on particular issues who could help the third group get involved by providing them with resources and contacts (both Christian and non-Christian). The third group in turn would help the first group get motivated.

The point is that Christians need to be connected to each other and non-Christians in order to really be able to do anything in Gainesville.

So, now what? Tangibly speaking, the idea we have is called Christian Service Network. CSN is an umbrella network and its first chapter will start at UF.

A main focus of it is a web site. The web site has two parts: a networking database and a serviceblog.

The database is where Christians can create profiles that include their social interests (e.g. Fair Trade, homelessness) and also connect with each other based on these interests (by browsing and searching the database keywords). This way someone from UF can log on and say, "Hey, is there anyone else on campus who might be interested in doing something for immigration rights?" They click on "Immigration" and boom! Ten people show up as listing "Immigration" as one of their interests. The person in question could then message them internally, email them, or (if they provide their numbers) call them.

The serviceblog is where a rep from RUF, FCA, etc. will log in and post service opportunities their group is doing - including who, what, where, who to contact, and whether any help is needed. Even if they don't need help, at least this way there will be a way of knowing who is doing what.

Hopefully we can get Christian groups to assign this simple task to an officer, say the VP (since the VP is usually in charge of service). It would take 2 minutes, times the 2 or 3 service projects a month, so less than 15 minutes a month probably from each group to contribute. If we had 10 groups posting, that would be 20 or 30 projects a month and connecting hundreds of people from each of those groups.

"Okay. what would be an example post -- the whole process?"

I'll use RUF since I know it.

There is a leadership meeting at the campus minister's house. Steve (the campus minister) asks the leadership team -- which includes officers and non-officers -- if they have ideas for service projects. Let's say someone says, "Hey, let's go help out Rebuild Gainesville (a group kind of like Habitat for Humanity). Steve says, "Good idea." It's then the Vice President's responsibility (this is my friend Emily this year) to set that up (VP = in charge of service for RUF). So then Emily would get it all set up with Rebuild Gainesvlle...let's say August 27, 2006 at 4 pm. 20 people are needed.

So once the details are set, Emily logs onto CSN using the RUF name and password to post on the serviceblog. She makes a post including when, where, how many people are needed, and who to contact (which would more than likely be her). It shows up on the service blog as a new post by RUF.

So there you have it. There are lots more details and there is lots to be done. Let me know what you all think and if you're interested in being a part of the revolution.

Peace,
Sam
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Dani California

I listened to RHCP's new album. It's pretty enjoyable.

This has been a fairly eventful few days. I've been running around like crazy trying to get things squared away for ND. It's pretty intense, but also very exciting.

I'm slowly making progress on learning French. The first part of learning anything is frustrating; I just want to know it all immediately and I forget that my brain doesn't function that way. Oh, well. I'm pretty confident that by the end of the summer I will have made some significant progress.

Friday was my sister's birthday, but she didn't return from a trip until late that night. So Saturday evening after she got off work we celebrated with a pretty nice meal at home and some great conversation (my parents have been out of town for a few days).

Sunday morning Chris came to visit, which was extremely exciting. He came to church with Sarah and me and then we all went to the Flats (yes, I know I'm addicted to burritos with sweet chili sauce). It was pretty awesome having two of my all-time greatest friends together. Later Chris and I worked for hours on our super secret Christian service revolution (more on that later, I promise). It was very exciting. We ended up at Starbucks for a bit with the guys and then after Chris headed back to Gainesville it was yet another round of Simpsons for the rest of us.

So as you may or may not know, tomorrow I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. I'm not very excited. I'll be out of commission for several days I imagine, so you probably won't hear from me.

Sorry I don't have anything terribly profound. This isn't a very interesting entry.

Although, these are probably the funniest videos I have seen in a while:

Crazy Marble Slab Kids
Crazy Marble Slab Kids Again

And no, that wasn't a direct result of a comment by a certain brown-haired girl who may or may not decorate cakes during the summer.

See you in a few days.

Peace,
Sam
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I wish Lisa Simpson was 10 years older and real.

In honor of Jeremy's birthday, I uploaded a draft of my version of These Days by Nico. You can check it out here:

Nico: These Days

Not sure how long that link will work. Disclaimers: I used the first take of the piano that I got in order to just get some ideas going, so there are lots of mistakes. I also don't have a condenser mic at home, so the audio quality is not very good. But you'll get the general idea of where I'm going with this.

Later I'll redo the piano and get it all cleaned up.

Let me know if you enjoy it.

Peace,
Sam
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Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no one.

A day that includes watching a good Al Pacino movie and meeting up with Keri for good conversation. A night that includes listening to Coldplay and the Chili Peppers on the way to Tijuana Flats (which means on the way to sweet chili sauce), Starbucks, and several episodes of the Simpsons with some of my best friends in Orlando (Tony, Jonathan, Alex). Topped off with lovely conversation and planning with Marie.

Can it get much better? Maybe it can, but I'm content.

Tomorrow is round three with the pastor. Here's hoping we get some stuff done in this wild soul of mine.

I leave you with another one of my favorite songs (this time by Jeff Buckley):

Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
And maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know

When I'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage he's done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one

So I'll wait for you... and I'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return?
Oh will I ever learn?

Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Well maybe I'm just too young
To keep good love from going wrong

Oh... lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Well I feel too young to hold on
And I'm much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage I've done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, love well I'm waiting for you

Lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late...

Peace,
Sam
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