I've had a lot happen in the past week. I haven't posted any of it because I would feel awkward sending it into the internet abyss. That's part of the fundamental problem of blogs. The most important things that happen in my life will not be told as blog entries. I will never try to explain how I've grown or what I'm deeply grappling with to some internet confessional. I will most gladly talk on the phone or in person, and I always journal about what's happening in the depths of my soul. I may even write letters. But something about the internet just feels fake. There's a digital hand covering my mouth.
But then what's the point?
I had round two with my pastor today. It was much less eventful then last time, which consisted in addressing some very systemic issues and shattering some comfortable idols. I think round three will be pretty interesting.
I've determined I need to make a trip to Gainesville to see a variety of people.
I wrote another song today. It's pretty standard Sam style - simple piano with a Bjorkish melody. I'm always frustrated that I can't write anything more complex, but I'm learning to accept it. I'm actually being forced to accept it, because when I start layering instrumental parts with my computer my songs just end up as garbage. I'm definitely no Sufjan. Oh well, I can write complex/poetic/intriguing lyrics (I think). I may as well embrace my own style of somewhat interesting lyrics sung using Thom Yorke-style inflections with a Bjork-type melody over Coldplayish chords. Note that the lyrics are probably my only real contribution, and they are always influenced by a variety of poets and songwriters. Oh well. Such is life. In the words of Destroyer: "Don't you realize that a life in art and a life of mimicry are the same thing?"
Wow, this has been a mildly depressing entry. I hope everyone is doing alright.
Peace,
Sam
P.S. My dad currently has A Grief of Observed and Letters to Malcolm, so iconoclasm will have to wait.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
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2 comments:
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'
-- Ode on a Grecian Urn, by John Keats
I haven't figured out exactly what I think about this sentiment, but I suspect that Christians are justified in creating beauty for its own sake. I don't know how to expand on that without ranting for several pages. Maybe we're talking past each other, but I thought I'd throw that out there.
Also, for what it's worth, I prefer simplicity to complexity. Again, this is the wrong medium to expand on that, but I would encourage you to to look at simplicity as a source of inspiration and beauty -- not a limitation. And don't sell yourself short. You have an incredible voice and you have something to say.
Charlie
I don't think Sufjan started out with complex music writing. I don't think Bjork did, either. It takes a while to hone your talents and abilities. I know how you feel, however, and I've felt that way about writing sometimes. I don't know how much of it is true and how much is feeling. They really have nothing to do with each other, I've found. I find the most important thing to grapple with is one's motivations in making art. For a Christian, I can't help but believe that if we're trying to make art with any other reason besides seeking to help and encourage others, it may just end up as trash. This, of course, is a huge self enditement. Hurray for not being able to say anything. "Welcome to the human race."
In your case, the best advice I can offer is to let your gaurd down, if you have one, when writing or producing anything artisic. Kill the critic and get your material down. Experiment a whole lot. Then come back to it and shape it with your "conscious critic." Remember, also, that it's a process that takes time above all things.
Jason
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